Renovating is usually an exciting, but very stressful, experience. This is especially the case for people who manage their own renovation works, but even with expert help it will be a challenging time.
As with other major life events, friends and family can be a huge support, but we’ve also seen how well-intentioned but unhelpful advice can add to the considerable stress. So, if someone you care about is embarking on this journey, how can you help?
Lend a sympathetic ear
There will be times when your sympathy will be very valuable. I personally found renovation stress was made worse by the guilt of knowing this was very much a privileged position to be in, and found it helpful to be reminded that having my home disrupted was of course stressful and difficult… and also that it would pass. On which point;
Help them imagine the end result
In the middle of a renovation, it’s difficult to remember why on earth you’ve started the process, or to believe it will ever be over. Sometimes, it helps to think back to the design process and remember the end goal. You can help by asking which aspects of the design/ finished product they are most excited about.
Share your experiences… but only if they are relevant
Some aspects of renovation are pretty universal, and your experiences may help prepare your friend for what to expect. For example: How snagging was so much more irritating than you were braced for, or how horrible it was living in the house during the works (constant cold, dust, noise…) or how it was all worth it in the end.
Other aspects of renovation change. Even if your renovation was as recently as one year ago, there have been significant changes in how long things take, how much they cost, and what the regulations require. If it was longer than 5 years ago, cost comparisons are almost entirely meaningless and only likely to add to the stress.
Be timely with your advice
Overall, we’d suggest only offering solicited advice. Your friend may have very different design tastes or budget priorities to you. We’ve had clients change lose confidence in their design choices following the input of an outspoken friend, which is a real shame.
If you really can’t help yourself… aim to offer your opinions as early in the process as possible. Changing the design or scope late on WILL have significant impacts on cost and/or timing of the project.
Trust their judgement on specialists
The quality of the relationship with the lead contractor, and other specialists, really makes a difference to how stressful the renovation process is. We help clients to vet their specialists – but if your friend isn’t working with an interior designer/ project manager, you may be able to help them think of questions to ask before the specialists are appointed. Once they have a contractor team and key specialists in place, we advise assuming best intent, expertise and integrity unless something happens to fundamentally challenge that.
Offer practical help
Living at home during a renovation can be extremely difficult, mentally as well as physically, and living elsewhere for several months is not always straightforward. You may be able to help by offering help with packing, pet or childcare, or even use of your shower or kitchen for a crucial week or two. Maybe even just a dust-free sanctuary to hang out in for an evening.
Do you need help with your renovation in London or Brighton? Contact us now!